just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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