I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
