you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
