Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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