it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
