I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
