She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
