i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
