i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
