Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
