Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And then my night got REAL pukey
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
