She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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