At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
