Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
