So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
