Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
