we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
