I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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