It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
