he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
