Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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