You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
