I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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