Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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