I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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