She went from zero to smokin in five shots
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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