Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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