And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
