writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize