I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
