I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
