I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
