Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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