Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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