I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
