i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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