I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
