I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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