They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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