How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
