Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just google imaged poop.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
