I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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