arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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