I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
