we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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