Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
