I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
