we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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