Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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