i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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