hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
