the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
